The hardest lesson to learn

I have five children. I have two adult children, which is such an INCREDIBLE experience. I get to watch them live their beautifully unique lives, crafting their own realities and know that I had a hand in raising such compassionate, beautiful daughters. My oldest is preparing to marry her highschool sweetheart next year and has a heart of gold for all of her friends and her community. My next daughter has paved her way through Kansas City and adventuring. This girl, man oh man, she absolutely just leaves a trail of smiles everywhere she goes, just an insane love for humanity.

I have two that I still have the honor of raising 50/50 with my ex-husband, one in middle school and one in kindergarten. Being their mom is so magical, my middle schooler is so insanely creative with every artistic modality; I am always blown away by her skills and creativity. My kindergartner is so silly and compassionate and one of the bravest people I know. She absolutely adores all of her siblings and makes friends everywhere she goes.

And then of course Ezra, with his colorful, vibrant, amazing take on life. He is hysterical, so strong and his view is just epic.

They are all hilarious and wild and free. I raised my children wanting them to experience life and never with the "sit down and shut up" mentality. I never wanted to see the light in my children's eyes go out, I wanted to see them vibrant, wild, respectful and FREE. Free to think, free to choose, free to become who they were meant to be.

I homeschooled my children for ten years (and I truly believe I will homeschool Ezra too), all of my children have excelled in their academics. Brilliant, creative, witty, talented. I couldn't be more proud.

The hardest lesson I have learned is that it is ESSENTIAL, not optional to take care of one's self.

The stress that is placed on a single parent is a lot, but the stress that is placed on a special needs parent is equivalent to that of combat soldiers. Step away from the war and breathe, momma (or dad).

Things I do:

** Write this blog.

** Allow myself to let my parents take Ezra two nights a week so I can breathe. - These nights I will sometimes share with friends or (rarely) go on a date, but a lot of time I have a glass of wine and watch true crime in bed with whatever guilty pleasure snacks I want and go to bed.

** Massage and/or myofascial! So much muscle is built giving big hugs during big emotions. So much tension is held in my hips, neck, shoulders. This is essential!!! - If you are in the QCA I highly recommend Sara at sootheandrenew.com.

** Meditation. Guided or self-paced, this is an amazing way to catch your breath. My personal favorite (not kid friendly) https://youtu.be/92i5m3tV5XY?si=I8n_G0AnGxtpijMq

** Journal, or if I can't I do automatic writing (my absolute favorite)

** Sit in the grass. Literally. I always joke that I look like Toodles from the movie "Hook" looking for his lost marbles (sometimes I feel like I've lost mine), combing the grass looking for 4-leaf clovers.

** I have also cultivated a serene room, my 3-season porch is literally my favorite space. I drink my coffee out there in the mornings, tea time, sometimes I even will move the TV.

** Magnesium baths

** Anything that makes me feel lovely. Sometimes a simple cup of tea in my favorite mug. Sometimes a new nail polish color. Sometimes a face mask or buying a new dress. When you feel your best, you carry yourself differently and act differently. Small, simple things make remarkable differences.

The hardest lesson I have found is that it is absolutely MANDATORY to take these moments. When you have sensitive children, peace isn't an option, its critical. And the only way to maintain that peace is to take the time you need to recenter yourself. It isn't selfish, it's necessary.

Take care of you so you can be the best for them.