When someone shows you who they are, believe them

I had an old friend that would tell me this phrase repeatedly about people in my life: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

I have changed so much - intentionally and honorably over the years. I know that change is possible, but I also know that it is through self reflection and dedication that I choose to always elevate and be the best version of myself. I also know that most people will choose comfort over change and gladly excuse their behaviors for simple self preservation. And, honestly, I can't blame them. There is a lot of risk in changing - the caterpillar never knew what it would be like to become a butterfly and nevertheless he persisted, spread his wings and took flight. Such bravery, such grace, such goopy goo involved before emergence.

In all of this, I have found that while change is possible, when someone shows you who they are believe them.

Being single in this day and age is rough. ROUGH. But something that I have repeatedly seen, learned and experienced through that enedeavor is that people will show you who they are pretty quickly - within six weeks. And so many times I have been known to excuse behaviors, tendencies and red flags simply because I can see the path that the trauma has taken and why people act the way that they act. This empathetic quality that I have is something that I have had to change. While it is a beautiful thing to be able to see where the hurt is that makes the behaviors, it is not okay to keep accepting toxic tendencies from people who refuse to change and live in perpetual victimhood.

So what I have found is that when someone tells you a story about how they walked away from their children, dont think that they wont do the same to you. When someone tells you that people keep calling them self-centered, hear that. And when someone shows you that you are at the bottom of their priority list, despite what their words may say, trust that.

And of course on the flip side of it all, when someone shows up in your life authentically beautiful, nurturing and has a consistent and constant pattern of behavior in their lives, believe it. Trust it. There are people in this world that are willing to do the hard work to be the best version of themselves. Those are the people worth clinging to and accepting into your circle.

So good and bad; right and wrong -- when someone shows you who they are, believe them.