December's AHA moment

I am apart of many "mom groups". I always have been. From the "Crunchy mom" to the " young single mom" to the "Toddlers with autism mom" and they all have their own stigma, right? Like the crunchy, hippie, granola mom's don't do food coloring, probably don't shower, I'm not sure what else comes with that. But then you have "autism mom" and I figured as an autism mom we probably all have adrenal fatigue, insomnia, and crazy schedules; however, in one of the support groups, someone was talking about the new "Autism Barbie" and one of the commenters stated "autism mom's make everything about themselves".

Crazy enough, I don't remember the last time that I "thought about me"...which I guess, then makes this post about me.

December was lovely, as I said in my last post. However, that December wont be happening again. I did choose what events we would and wouldn't do based off of Ezra and Eleanor's ability to cope with the surroundings and the subsequent meltdowns that would occur afterwards.

I did leave my family Christmas after an hour and a half of being there because my uncle brought his dog and Ezra is both allergic and terrified of dogs.

We did cancel most of the events that I would have wanted to attend in the community because of lack of sleep / weather (SO MUCH WEATHER) /sickness / Ezra's ability to function. I cancelled a lot. I don't feel bad for that in the least bit. And next year, we will do even less "forced" or "we're doing this because it's the right thing to do" moments.

Not because "it's all about me" or because "Ezra's controls everything" but because his regulation matters. At any given event the overstimulation can throw him into a regression that sets him off from a day to weeks. And I suppose that could make me selfish for "not wanting to deal with it" but I see it more as not wanting Ezra to "suffer" through dysregulation.

There are so many things that we HAVE to do in life that we don't want to do or don't enjoy doing (dentists, laundry, grocery shopping, dr appointments....I don't know...take your pick) to force myself or my children to attend events that set us off. Having said that, there is a time for "character growth and development" but if I know fluorescents make "the floor wobbly", I'm not going to seek that out. If wind makes him gasp for air, we wont go to the parade this year, and yes, if I want to cancel going to an event because I don't feel like I can tolerate the environment with all the kids, I'm down to cancel.

Selfish...sure. But 100% forward thinking about my children always...absolutely.

We are just a simple family learning, growing molding and becoming the best that we can be. Selfish or not, I am happy with where we are and looking forward to what the future holds.