That's all we've done so far

Going into parenting Ezra, I was confident. I was sure that all I would need was some coffee, oatmilk creamer and enough diapers to survive Armageddon (to which I even had a stash of cloth still from Eleanor). The rest was second nature at this point.

BOY OH BOY! Was I wrong. Having five children and having been a step-parent to a particularly difficult boy for over a decade, I thought I had all the "tools" in my bag I'd need for this venture. Again, I was wrong (I swear, I'm right about things SOMETIMES). When SHTF with Ezzie, I threw everything I knew, the countless hours of parenting books and podcasts and articles, the therapy appointments and of course unsolicited advise from random passerby, at the situation.

Oh man, when Ellie was little I had a lady at the local family museum critique my parenting because she had two different socks. I was like, lady psychotic laughter you're lucky we're wearing socks.

Back on track.

My parenting knapsack had been ransacked, dumped upside down in a fit of desperation and everything I had accumulated didn't even touch the wild that was Ezra's story. I was lost, fumbling, crying (a lot) and so....hopeless. Because of that and because I wanted nothing more than to have a list of things to try to pave the way forward, I am going to list what I have tried so that maybe, just maybe, my foraging through the autism wilderness can save one person. Nothing is perfect yet, he still has a long way to go and we have more journey to share, but this is where we started.

Some of it is "snake oil hippie shit" so stay with me through it, if that's not your jam.

*I cried, a lot. I felt sorry for myself and grieved neurodivergence (before I knew how kick ass it would be). - none of this helped, but was probably necessary.

*Healed his gut with fulvic and humic acid. I use "EpiGenius Kids" through Purium...an easy chocolate "shake".

*Healed his liver with different herbal tinctures and supplements from our chiropractor and functional medicine doctor.

*Had a food and an environmental intolerance done and eliminated his exposure to what we could - not perfect. Still not perfect.

*Consistent chiropractic care.

*Reflexology (I'm a master reflexologist and know protocols to help his nervous system and body calm).

*Energy work, sound healing and playing different frequencies to help his mood.

*Lots of outdoor time, bare feet in grass, hands in dirt. Playing in homemade sand boxes, water tables, anything that gets him into nature. Lots of walks and running and outside play.

While these definitely benefited Ezra and helped with building the foundation, here's where the modern medical model came in.

**I got him into his primary care provider for a well visit. When she was asking about his milestones and I expressed my concerns, she checked to make sure that he isn't in any significant pain, did some tests and blood work and then said that she wanted me to get him evaluated. This is important. While I had the doctor tell me that she wanted this done and would send a referral, it was ultimately me calling all of the providers that do diagnostics to get him in. And even then, that changed after 10 months of waiting and we got in somewhere earlier. Advocate! Waitlists are long. Keep calling!!!

**One of autism centers I called heard my desperation and got us into Early Intervention. Through them Ezra had a case worker and started Developmental and Speech therapy almost immediately (within a month, probably two weeks). Occupational therapy took much much longer to get him into, which I explain in another blog post.

**We started seeing Dr. Jake (see Dr Jake's blog post...called...Dr Jake).

**Magnets magnets everywhere....to build with, for fridge, for holding!

**Swing for the livingroom (all the kids love this...it holds up to 300 lbs)!

**Massive bean bag for crash landings and a weighted blanket (I made them for years, so we already had them) for meltdowns.

**Weighted vest.

**8 lb medicine ball.

**Noise cancelling headphones.

**Balls, many many balls (soft, or light weight so when he melts and throws it doesnt break - humans or household things).

**Stepping stone blocks and obstacle course blocks (Ezra has problems walking on ground with any grade, and so the obstacle course helps desensitize him to that sensation).

**White noise machine. Green sounds on YouTube. Binaural beats.

**Red light for the bedroom -we didn't use this for long.

**Sharks, sharks and more more more sharks. All the sharks. - dig into those special interests like its your job.

**Clothing without tags and are SOFT.

**Spinning seat.

**Bubbles, party blowers, pinwheels, anything to blow so when he escalates he has something to help with those big breaths.

**Sign language. When he melts down executive functioning is turned off in the brain and utilizing sign assists in turning that back on. I am not proficient, but we are working on that and he signs over 50 words at this point. This has helped us TONS.

**Something that I cannot, absolutely CANNOT stress enough is CONSISTENCY. Consistency in schedule, in routine, in how I handle behaviors, in therapy treatments and what we use is so so so crucial. When we get out of this consistency he flares up so quickly and its horrendous.

**Parenting classes for parents of children with autism. This class is nothing short of incredible and if you have a parent that isn't on board with the care plan, or joint custody or want other family members to know, this website is incredibly well done and put together. https://sylassupports.com/event/autism-education-for-families/ Remarkable! Worth every penny.

**Diet. Critically important. We are what we eat. Eat trash, act like trash. Eat good and wholesome, act...well...not like trash.

**Try (TRY) to run his energy out. Dear. Sweet. Baby. Moses. I think I will create the Hulk before I run his energy out.

**Vitamin D, methylated B, lots of green drinks, multivitamin, probiotic with colostrum, tooth tablets with calcium, magnesium glycinate.

And this week we start seeing a care team to have his nervous system evaluated and see if the carbon monoxide is still playing a role (Read blog post "We have WHAT?"). Look up PX docs and see if there's one in your area!

I am sure there is more, but this is a really good start. And of course, your story isn't mine, and your child isn't Ezra and your journey is your own. If you have ideas for us, drop them below, I think there's a hole in my knapsack most days. I have not yet given him any pharmaceutical medications and personally try to avoid them if I can. We will see what his future holds.

And above all...breathe. Deep. Profound. Breaths. Breathe in for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Release and breathe out for 8 seconds.

Drop your shoulders down. Relax the tops of your legs. Wiggle your toes. Close your lips. Smile softly.

Cry if it needs to happen. Pick yourself up. And find the tools that work for you.

We've got this.